About Amanda

Who am I?

The big question.

The question that brings deep silence and infinite spaciousness and breaks open all the walls and barriers to love.

When I genuinely ask, “Who am I?” and allow a true response to land, what opens is a feeling of infinite love, deep peace, and vast spaciousness.

So in one way, I could say that I am the source of all that is.

And I could say the same thing about you.

II The human being

But if you'd like to know a little about Amanda, the human being, here it is.

I was born in northern Sweden. At age six, my mother met a man from Berkeley, California, and we moved to the United States. That was also the moment I separated from my biological father.

I remember sitting in the car and realizing my dad wasn't coming with us.

Something broke in my human heart that day.

I didn't talk about it. I didn't make a scene. I just felt it.

Then life became an adventure.

I grew up in Berkeley in a huge blended family with fourteen brothers and sisters. I dyed my hair orange and became Pippi Longstocking. She's still one of my greatest role models. The strongest girl in the world. Her dad is a pirate, she has a monkey and a horse, and she loves her friends fiercely.

My mother even braided my hair and put wire in it so it would stick straight out like Pippi's.

Life was pretty magical.

Then at age eleven we moved back to Sweden.

By then my papa had started using drugs, and the heartbreak continued.

From around age twelve until my early twenties, I found myself in many destructive patterns. There was a lot of drinking, partying, dangerous situations, depression, confusion, and searching.

III The turning

Eventually all of it led to a near-death experience that changed the course of my life forever.

I collapsed onto a hardwood floor and began feeling the lightness of what I am rising upward while the heaviness of the body remained below.

I felt surrounded by a warm golden light.

I watched moments from my life flash before me, including experiences that had deeply traumatized me. Yet I wasn't seeing them through the eyes of a wounded human anymore. I was seeing them through the eyes of something eternal.

The emotional charge was gone.

Everything was neutralized.

I saw that what I truly am had never been harmed.

I saw my abuser and myself as one.

I saw that beneath all the stories, all the pain, and all the suffering, there was only love.

At one point I saw my body lying motionless on the floor from above.

Then I felt something communicate clearly:

“We have an opportunity to go back.”

Without hesitation, something in me shouted:

“YES!”

And I returned.

Ever since that day, life has never been the same.

IV Devotion, and the remembering

Since then I have devoted my life to awakening, healing, truth, and understanding the nature of reality.

I have practiced Vipassana meditation since 2012.

I am a practitioner of conscious sensuality, tantra, and sexual alchemy. Over the years I have offered tantric bodywork sessions and explored the connection between sexuality, spirituality, healing, and embodiment.

Plant medicines have also played a significant role in my journey.

I have traveled to places such as Brazil and Thailand and explored consciousness through Ayahuasca, 5-MeO, mushrooms, LSD, DMT, fasting, raw foods, meditation, and deep spiritual practice.

Urine therapy has also been part of my path.

I am someone who is not afraid of the darkness, the taboo, or the things most people would rather not talk about.

I see all of it as a doorway.

A portal.

Another place where God can be found.

I love Jesus.

I don't necessarily fit inside organized Christianity, but I love Jesus deeply.

I love the Jesus who sat with sinners, prostitutes, and outcasts.

The Jesus who judged no one.

The Jesus who saw innocence where others saw guilt.

And yes, I genuinely feel him living in the back of my heart and in my spine. At times he looks through my own eyes at others.

I love spending time with my grandmother, who is one of my closest friends. I love supporting my disabled sister whenever I can. I love being with my family and sharing life together.

I am also a chef of raw vegan and vegan desserts. I love creating decadent foods, potions, tonics, and elixirs.

I didn't spend much time in traditional education. The school I attended focused on music, theater, and the arts. Eventually I left and chose travel as my teacher.

My classrooms became jungles, meditation halls, relationships, heartbreak, healing, travel, ceremony, and direct experience.

Today I am passionate about understanding the operating system of the human mind.

The conditioning.

The programming.

The machinery.

Not so that we remain trapped in it, but so that we can see through it and live beyond it.

I am passionate about emotional health, spiritual health, mental health, physical health, brain health, sexuality, movement, sleep, nutrition, and conscious living.

I love EFT, breathwork, sound healing, movement practices, dance, self-inquiry, meditation, and anything that helps people come home to themselves.

Most of all, I love reminding people of their innocence.

I love helping people see themselves through kinder eyes.

The eyes of a child.

The eyes of love.

The eyes that know nothing is wrong with them.

At the deepest level, I believe we are already living in the Kingdom of Heaven.

We never actually left hOMe.

We've simply forgotten.

And my work, my life, and my devotion are all about remembering.

A space to come home to yourself.

If something here is calling, follow it. The door is open.

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